How’ve You Been?

Some days it’s enough to smile, nod, and say “good,” even though we both know it might not be good but it’s easier to pretend it is because we’re too busy running in circles to stop and listen. Other days it’s not enough, and we say “good” because I don’t want to have a breakdown in front of you about not having a dad on Dad’s Day. Or sometimes it’s really really good. Like I just had the best day at work and the Jonas Brothers just dropped their new album and I’m on top of the world. But then we still say “good” because I don’t want to make you feel worse about your shitty day, and you don’t want my pity. Who wants pity?

Okay, so maybe that was a bit dramatic. But if there’s anything I’d like you to take away it’s that we all could be a little more sensitive to the people around us. Because sometimes, we’re not all good. Sometimes, we’re just people, with people problems, living in the same damn world.

I like to think there’s a logical explanation for most things. If there’s no more orange juice on the shelf at the grocery store, it’s because you beat me to it. If you’re zigzagging around me on a double-yellow line, there’s a chance you’re going through something awful. I read something that said something like “assume the person tailgating you is trying to get to the hospital.” Sure, it might not be true most times, but what about the times it actually is? You really want to spend your time getting pissed off at that?

That being said, how have you been? I’ll go first. I’ve switched jobs. I’m moving. Two thousand miles moving. There are a lot of variables in my life right now. If you know anything about me, you’ll know I’m not a variable kinda guy. I’m a hi you want to get lunch? put it on my calendar kinda guy. I’ve also taken up the horrible habit of comparing myself to everyone around me. I feel like I’m not where I should or could be, and I’m scared. I’m scared of what people are thinking of me. I’m scared of what I’m thinking of me.

On the flip side, I’m excited. I’m excited because I’m only 20 and I have a world ahead of me. I switched jobs and I get to work with some amazing people every single day. And I’m moving! Moving means new beginnings. Moving means being closer to my older brother and all the advice he will have for me which I will, of course, loudly ignore and then quietly accept. A variable life is a life full of possibilities. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, and I don’t want to, because being limited by your own imagination is a horrible thing.

That’s it. That’s how I’ve been. And it’s been good. But, just like your life, it’s also been a lot more than that. So, how’ve you been?